June 27, 2012

A Glass of Water

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A few days a week I make my way over. Every movement, word, and moment is deliberate. I make notes. I wait. I encourage. I stare out windows. I try not to cry.

It has been this way for a while.

She ate a nice bit of lunch on her own. She even requested some onion soup but the kitchen was already closed. She told Carl that if she didn't start eating the doctor mentioned a feeding tube. I guss that was enough to spark her appetite. We took her outside and then I came home. Good day.

Eventually she'll be able to drink a glass of water on her own—one that hasn't been thickened with nectar. Without the watchful eye of a therapist, daughter(s), or granddaughter.

At home I continue my language studies. Roberto corrects me. Sometimes I surprise him. Sometimes I surprise myself.

After weeks of letting bananas spoil I am urged to make a banana bread.

I practice yoga. I practice deep breathing. I hop on the bike for endurance. I lift weights for strength.

And, we eat pasta.

Tonight we'll eat quinoa. I said.
You just like saying quinoa. He said.

Well, maybe.


  1. Tracy, being there with her is very difficult and very brave. The strength will be there when you need it. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  2. I am sad to know you have been facing such challenges, Tracy. I am also very happy to see you here. As you've noticed, many of us have missed you. I hope, in at least a small way, the exercise of writing helps you. Take care, Denise

  3. Oh, Tracy, this sounds very hard. Thinking of you from here. xo.

  4. Thinking of you and I hope things get easier. xx

  5. I was worried something was wrong. Sorry for this Tracy- Maybe amuse Bouche can offer distraction or an outlet. In any case I'm glad to just know you're still here. Wishing you moments of light.

  6. I'm happy to hear your voice again Tracy. I hope that each day brings a little bit more light - for you all.

  7. Tracy, Like Denise, Michele, Kath et al, I'm glad to see you here, sending all good thoughts your way--so sorry for these difficulties.Nancy

  8. So glad to see you back here, sharing the very tough and the very beautiful moments. Such a moving post.

  9. Thank you, all. It means so much that you've checked in and offered comments of support and encouragement.


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